Food for thought x3

 Taken from my Journal 10th November 2017

Last night I went for dinner with some friends in the industry and we got talking about jobs (as all performers seem to do). My friend had just been offered a choreographic job in Las Vegas. It was a 6 week stint, with a lot of consideration as he has a family. He then went to say, he had spoke about money and other requirements in his contract and was meant to start in two weeks. Only yesterday he received a call to say because of visa issues they were putting the rehearsal period back a few more weeks. I found it so interesting our initial reaction was well he has to do it no matter what,  it's Las Vegas, but then actually when I thought about it, in any other line of work if you had been 'messed around' like this already before you started you would just say no thank you. why do some of us feel the need to be the yes man of fear on missing out an opportunity or it having a negative effect on future employment? Also with the sudden change in our lives what impact does this have on us mentally? Leaving your family with little certainty on the organization of the job over the Christmas period becomes the hardest decision when you are faced with a life time opportunity any performer would die for.



Taken from my Journal 21st November 2017

From a young age all I wanted to do is be a performer but because of issues with my mental health I felt like Jekyll and Hyde. One minute all I want to do is get any job, and the thrill of knowing what il be doing and the next the physical stomach cramps of anxiety about the simplest thing such as boarding the bus. The anxiety of having to spend your life knowing each month has auditions you might not get. Knowing you can just not go to the audition and save yourself the anxiety but then having to deal with the consequence when you feel better.

Is it possible to still manage to make the most of this amazing life and not kill your mental health in the process? Surely doing what you love, should make you a happy person.

How to live the happiest life possible? Does this effect you getting the job? Do you present yourself differently to an audition panel when happier in life? 

 When a performer is not working they have a lot more free time than they had before. After meeting with various performing friends, i noticed we all share a similar trait/bad habit. With all the free time, there is a struggle to get motivation to use this time productively and it seems easier to just sit and worry about not working. Why?



Taken from my Journal 1st February 2018

I have kept a daily journal for the past two months and noticed a theme throughout my diary. I am forever discussing how to better myself, focusing on a healthier, happier lifestyle for me. Going to the gym to better my body, fitness and strength.. Taking singing lessons to better my understanding of the use of my voice....yoga to clear, relax and free my mind.. From this, a theme and Idea of the healthy performer has again shown its head and through using the skill of reflection I have now explored this point and managed put separate it into three areas of interest. The healthy body, the healthy mind and the healthy voice.


Taken from My Journal 11th February 2018

I was coming back on the train today with my mum and she both discussed the emotional and physical strain auditions have on you. I have a lot of friends currently auditioning and with employment sorted for the next year (THANK GOD), I am completely out of the rat race of auditions and the head space you have to go in order to do them.  Gearing yourself for the 10 o´clock start is hell, and usually is accompanied by a show the night before and a sleepless journey in order to arrive on time.

After the train ride, i went back over my diary and with the information from those, plus the conversation with mum, i really feel i have a starting point for my studies. I can also see how i need to look at all the research i am going to collect and organize it through the blogs weekly in order to at the end be able to see all my work clearly and therefore begin module three with already a path to follow.

Plan:

Weekly readings on Uni hub - summon
Talk to friends
Write conversations with friends down
Weekly update of my blog
Then after two/three weeks, print blogs out, create a mood board with all my findings
Read Handbook all the way through, then go through step by step along side my reading.